Christmas is not in November...

I've been listening to Christmas music for about a week now. Part of me a disgusted with myself, but the majority of me isn't even sorry.

to tweet or not to tweet...

I'm getting so fed up of people walking straight at me or walking into me because they're plodding along playing with their phones. I want to smack their hands from the underneath so their phone goes flying and that text/tweet/facebook status they were in the middle of, which I'm sure not nothing dull or mundane like 'lol in ldn. is kwl. lol' becomes lost to the world.

That said you've got to be pretty dim to wander around central London and not pay attention to where you're going so this perhaps is Dawrinism at its finest. I think fairly soon the sight of people floating down the Thames frantically texting/tweeting/whatever 'is it rainin cuz im all wet now??but forgot my brolly.not lolz.' will become a common sight.

Mirror hogging

I'm getting really tired of having to fight my way past people preening themselves when I use public loos.

Please, your foundation was seven inches thick when you left the house and you've got so much mascara on you can't open your eyes fully, the last thing you need is more slap. I'm willing to bet there are trapped miners who've got a better oxygen supply than your pores. Just be gone and let me wash my hands without someone practising their pout over my shoulder.