Fucking hell

I've just found out that the guy, THE. GUY. From my high school. The hottie we all (well, me and my alleged best friend) were crushing on (until we realised we both liked him and I said 'Hmmm, I'm sure he doesn't even like me so you go for it' and she said 'Oh really, KThxBye' and a bond was Obliterated) has got a receding hairline now. 

 MY own mortality has just sent an icy breath down my neck. Fuck. Fuck. Shit I've got to get a center parting or something, try to drag my heels in the old aging process.  

This is so depressing, I can see why people who can afford it go wild with the old Botox/face lift/ass lift etc. 

 

*edit* that said, as I was finishing this post Dolly Parton 'Better Get To Livin' ' just came on so a sign maybe...? From God? Dolly? Both?

 

While we're at it...

Can we all agree that if an industry says 'we're SO committed to changing the industry. We want to destroy elitism and promote alternate narratives. But, like, still work for free until we choose to hire you, mmm'kay?' then they are, in fact, *not* so committed to changing the industry. Not much at all.

FFS

 Me, wine drunk, net stalking and looking at pics: 'WHY. WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE. GODDAMN I JUST WANT TO MOVE ON. STOP BEING SO F*CKING CUTE'.

Me, days later, stone cold sober: 'Shitsake. 12 pixels MAX in that picture. Gotta stop friggin' drinking. FFS'

Also

Right, so if you have a problem and I sit up for hours, until the wee hours, telling you you're great and everything will work out for the best I kinda harbour a hope you may do the same for me should the time comes. That's normal, right? But nooooooo. As soon as I'm stressed said friend is AWOL. Feeling "too down" about their own bad decisions (and they are bad decisions) to literally acknowledge me (for weeks) when I'm super stressed and literally just needed one text saying 'you'll smash it don't worry'. I will not be there at 3am the next time you need me because this is like the 4th time it's happened and you're just taking the pish now. 'Sorry, was in a bad place' WEREN'T WE ALL but some of us did not get supportive 'you dont need to reply just know I'm here for you if you need me' texts because, once again, you shut down and closed off. Get therapy please, seriously. Anti depressants alone are NOT the key. This is not healthy.

Maskssssss

 If masks are no longer mandatory in certain contexts, but you choose to still wear one and just pull it down over your nose - yet you don't pull your pants up but poke your dick out or put a bra on and poke your tits out - why?! Imagine being that half arsedly committed to anarchy. Anarchy if no-one is looking. Anarchy if 'the man' says you can. Anarchy if that suits everyone else today, if not, tomorrow is fine? JUST WEAR YOUR MASK PROPERLY; I HAD A GERM OCD BEFORE THIS AND THE LAST 18 OR SO MONTHS HAVE. NOT. HELPED. Wear one or do not wear one. Just don't try to be clever about going with the flow. You can't sit on the fence here, you've got to pick a side. It's doing my damn head in.

Fook Sake

 I'm honestly just tired of trying right now. Wish I'd had an easier upbringing; some kids do not know they're born. *Me, in my next life, God willing*

For Science

 I can now confirm that drinking a bottle of wine will wipe out period pain. Like, my uterus was killing me; took a gamble on a bottle of wine. No more pain. 101% would recomend. More expensive than painkillers (In the UK you can get some ibuprofen for like 16p, bottle of wine for like £5?) But worth it. I'm aboutta sleep through biatch!

Pain, pain I know your name :/

 So, if I spend a weekend finding the man I THOUGHT I MIGHT, GOD WILLING, BREED WITH his dream job on the otherside of the world am I in the top 25% of good people or am I an absolute fucking mug?

Erm...

So me; waving my phone. Making frown lines like I'm on a payroll; glaring at my phone thinking 'don't text me back then, bitch, I'll make my own fun in life'. Then remembering I hadn't sent any *initial* text is a power move...right? I was too strong a women to text in the first place? Idk fuck it, brb: sending a text -_-

FFs

 How you doin'? I'm so drunk I've just DMd the Weeknd (the day before his superbowl performance) telling him 'love ya x' because, apparently, I think it'll matter, because the last time I text my (idk what word to use here; what's the description for a guy who falls inbetween a crush and a signifier of social infertility?) *dude* Imma use dude. Last time I texted my dude he didn't reply but he's probs still colouring his chatacter's pubes in that cyberpunk game everyone hated... Right...?

FYI I later deleted the dm. Thank God for the 'gram.

Uuuugh + Superbowl

 Ffs. When you're texting depressive guys in the middle of the night like 'hope life is good for you' and you get effing ghosted it's like fine. Be sad. Be alone. Hope you're crying right now. All of our psyches are on a knife edge right now but, you'll sacrifice mine to preserve your own. Fair play; happy to know where I stand. Glad I never choked myself on that d. You just do not deserve that shit. #GiveMeStrength (And I wrote this thinking that by the time I clicked 'post' he would have replied but he hasn't. Wish I could hate that prick, AmIRightLadies?)

Also, I'm sorry but Justin SOOOOO meant to pop that nip, yet he got invited back? He's the kid in school who always stole test answers but was quiet so no-one believed he would. Seriously, if this weekend The Weeknd popped my tit out then was like 'lol soz, nevermind', would you never mind again? No, you would not (not least because my tits are probably less impressive than Janet Jacksons, idk, I've not compared them but I don't imagine mine are better).

 

EDIT:

I just verified my own mobile number against this blog account because I'm. That. Fucking. Pathetic, apparently. I waited a fucking hour; and if I were Super Mario I may have got some attention. Uuugh

Further edit:

Well, well, well... I was timely on that Justin slagging, wasn't I? Might curse someone else this weekend and see how that plays out for them next week.