Effboys

Tell you what else I need to let off steam about; those "I'll go to the effort of driving you to another town to a fancy restaurant then never talk to you again' men. Yeah, if I knew this was going nowhere I'd have brought myself dessert. If you think you have any chance of someone putting out for a (self-paid) main with no pudding course then at last I know you aren't also sleeping with any of my friends, as fuck that. No cheesecake = no sex without fail in my inner circle (no pun intended).

***edit to add that I re-read much later and I realise that there is no pun in that last line and I was just drunk when I wrote this. But did I still text him? Fuck yeah. Did I regret that? Fuck yeah. Do I wish I could hate men as much as I want to. Fuck yeah. ***

Table Manners

Have I written about table manners on here before? Most likely...But today I literally watched someone eat a cupcake in two mouthfuls so; here we go again. Oh my fucking God. Some people should not be allowed to eat in public.

I mean are we not all taught how to eat? Is that not one of the first things we learn? I mean, I'm scared that this person never progressed to potty training! She eats open mouthed "chewing" as much as she can fit in (and it's not the person I've critiqued on here before for similar behaviour so it's not just a grudge I have, although I do hate that person with a passion). 1/3 of it ended up on the floor.

I swear to God. Fuck swear boxes we need to introduce 'I could hear you chew from 4 miles away' boxes. We could end world poverty in a fucking week. Or at least in my office we could.