K so for a long time I have rallied against Western feminism. What right
do women have when women in the western world can still be, basically,
legally raped*as i look as reservations*, I've muttered to myself. BUT. (and I know it's not the
same). A little over a year ago I complained to my HR that by boss once
(amongst a multitude of other things - shout out to every vegetarian that's been told they need some meat in them-) told me I was "lucky he didn't do something bad to me while blotto". At the time I told him he couldn't say that to staff. He scoffed. They did nothing. BUT I was allowed to change departments - a rare treat in my company. We were the other side of the office but still. I knew how rare of an honour this was so I was honestly grateful.
Shoot forwards 1 years 2 months. He's just moved to be backing on to me. Aparently this is O.K. companywise.
That's one thing. But only one of my friends from this end of the
office has stuck up for me on the subject. This is once of the most
painful things I've lived. People I thought were friends are rolling
their eyes at my opinion that women don't need to be spoken to like
this. They're saying I'm not being professional. They're asking if I'm
not their friend either because I didn't take a mint from them. Like I'm
in the wrong for not writing this kind of thing off. He essentually threatened me. Do I think he'd ever rape or assult me, no? Do I think threatening me is okay, STILL FUCKING NO.
When he has been made to apoligise to me before
(this has gone on about 7 years?!) he's said he was sorry I was
offended by what he said. Not that what he said was offensive. How could
he offend? He's a man and women are mean, evil, meaines.
I know a lot of women on this planet are assulted.
That's honestly awful. But let's be honest. I'm here genuinely saying I'm lucky I
was only threatened with violence; not presented with it. So let's take
a good look at ourselves. I think it's generational. My friends in the
office under 35ish *flipped* their*shit*. They went senior. Put complaints in as senior as they could. Said their hubbys could wait outside work for the guy. Older people
that I called friends rolled their eyes at me. Looked exasperated that
I'm not over it yet. Muttered that he's said he want's to be friends
with me again and it was me being "difficult". Causing "problems". For wanting a mediocum of respect. I. Think. Not.
He now makes at least 2 gibes at me a day. 'I'll have this team soon too, you see. I'll be king of this team again soon'.\ 'Oh ho, isn't this funny, it's just hilarious! LOL!' etc. That's allowed. He's just being the banter king. FFS how dare I think I shouldn't have to sit there and be goaded by a sad, old man all day. WHO DO I THINK I AM? I am so fucking unreasonable.
No-one on my team has spoken to me unless it's workwise for a week there now. I thought we were friends. I just sit in silence, listening to him. When he says stuff they all say nothing. sometimes they just laugh or gabber away with him. They don't say 'too far', 'give it a rest'. Nothing. Because clearly, I am at fault(!).
I AM allowed to be moved away from him though. As soon as he can move me. (f.y.i he's not in I.T. , it's not his job to move desks). When he decides that he has enough time he will move my desk away and not until. He laughingly said it won't be this week. Then he moved his own row of desks back slightly, played with lego and set up his new phone. I AM THE ARSEHOLE THOUGH.
I AM NOT IN THE WRONG. No-one can talk to us like this anymore. Thank FUCK we live in a new world. SOON no woman -regardless of social contructs or circumstance - will have to take this shit. Woman ARE equal and soon every man will not be able to question this. I've learned that women are our own enemies.
Came here to delete this but you know what I'm two years deep and this shiz is still flaggin on my radar so NO. Don't delete. He was just made my Team leader again because apparently grievances don't count for shit? Here for future reference. We don't have to take this shit. Hashtag Still Going Strong. It turns out the head of my H.R department thinks all of the above was not ok. Also, I hashtag got the last laugh.
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