INTERNET WHY?! WHY?!

Ok, so I only came on here so slag off the guy from the post below whom I am forbidden from slagging off publically.

But then I thought, under the influence of wine, damn people should read the shit I write. So I googled "is my blog shit?". Thinking "Yass grrrl, make it stand out!" Foolishly thinking I'd get people offering to give feedback on blogs. Oh hell no, instead I got tips on what you should do if your bf wants to shit in your mouth. I want to be joking but I'm not.  I mean if nothing else for God's sake look at my past entries. Damn, do you think that's even a problem I have? They just don't offer me second courses generally, talk about rubbing that shit in. Unliterally (!)

The internet is just a dark place getting darker. You know ten years ago we all just talked about cats who wanted grammatically incorrect cheeseburgers. Now here we are pooping in mouths. And to think this was made to make the world better. hashtag glory days. hashtag Gif Mey Mey Bukket.

Captain Dicksplash

So how's your life? Mine wasn't great but now I work with Captain Dicksplash so it's just got 10 times worse. MEGALOLZ.

No matter what you've done or where you've been Captain Dicksplash has done better. Oh, so much better. Ever been anywhere? He has too, but club level! Every done literally anything? He has with bells on! Got a new computer system? He taught that at his old place of work! Imagine! OR he's an early twenty-something "see you next tuesday" full of bullshit as far from training a nationwide company on an I.T. system he came from a service station tuck shop. Also, he is a marriage wrecker who took the job there to rub someone's face in the fact he now had access to their child. Always nice, left that off your CV you moron. If you opinion is 'well, you can't help who you love' for good measure he's also lied about having cancer. Covered all fronts with this one. He's straight out of a "take a break" mag. You couldn't write a better wanker if you used every cliché in the book.

Think he sounds like a bell end? Well, don't say so outloud as he has complained that no one likes him (strange opinion, from the man who used the line "no offence, but with how close you are to retirement I'm really impressed with how into computers you are". Like, what era do you think the internet was invented in?!) He has complained that everyone slags him off and  now we are not allowed to speak ill of him. He found out people discovered he lied about having a brain tumour and everyone else is out of order - NOT HIM.

Also, he looks **just** like a crosst between slappy the dummy from goosebumps and Alfred E Newman, in case you though he wasn't chunt enough.


So on the off chance that one person, anywhere, reads this and thinks "shit, I didn't have the best day". Please, I beg you; take comfort from the fact you you do not work with Captain Dickspash.