I always seem to find myself involuntarily sharing my seat on public transport. I'm sort of little (despite my fat arse) and don't take up a whole seat. This, apparently, is an invitation for anyone else in the carriage/on the bus/tube/whatever to use that left over space as they see fit.
The other day I was on the train and a man sat next to me, got out his paper and spread out. Dude, did you pay half towards my ticket? No? Well your elbows better back the fuck up then, hadn't they?
I didn't actually say that though as he genuinely spent a third of the journey, somewhat terrifyingly, plucking out his eyebrow hairs, another third indignantly pretending he had no idea why he was covered in eyebrow, and the final part of the journey reading his newspaper like he was doing the funky fucking chicken. In my space.
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